Leaving Grand Island is stupidly hard :(

You know it sucks when you leave the people that meant the most to you for the last 6 months, and when you couldn’t even say goodbye to all of them because the time just flew the last few days. I’ll just tell you how they went. Friday night my family came here. I was so nervous the whole day and everytime I didn’t have something to do, I was so close to freak out. But then the moment came when they got off the plane.  I was crying because I was so happy!, although I swore to myself that I wouldn’t cry. But that also was the moment when I wasn’t alone with my hostfamily anymore. Made me realize how close it is to end.   MY family was tired but they still talked to my hostfamily for a while and I was so happy because they seemed to like each other. My hos family is amazing, they were so nice. Saturday and Sunday, were the best and worst days of my life. On the one hand it was great because my  2 families went to the store together, cooked Austrian food (which everybody liked btw ;) ) together, laughed together, chatted, played together, we had a BBQ and the first sweetcorn of the year outside and sat out until it got dark, my host and real siblings and me played together and it was just perfect!!  And they got  know each other and we had fun. I visited my IEC for a last time and planned on visiting the whole family again, but not everybody is here, which is depressing because so I couldn’t really say goodbye to some people that really mean a lot to me. Also some of my friends. Sunday was my last whole day in Grand Island. It was even better than Saturday, we went to church, to eat,to the car lot, so that my family could see all the animals there, then I finished the photo album for my hostfamily , me and all of my siblings went on the fouwheelers to the cornfields to go in the mud we all got terribly muddy but it was a blast and when we cleaned ourselves up a little bit we ended up having a waterhose fight and everybody got soaking  wet. The rest of the day I spent packing my stuff together, visiting some people to say goodbye. And there the horror started. I finally realized that it so close to be over and that I have to leave. I couldn’t help crying after every goodbye. MY hostfamily was as sad as me, we took a whole bunch of pictures together then my family gave them some Austria presents and then I had to say goodbye to a big part of my hostfamily because we had to leve at 6 oclock in the next morning and only my hostmum brought us there. It was the worst experience, I hugged everybody and tears just kept coming out.   At midnight I got done with all my stuff packed, and I knew that I had to go to bed to get up the next morning. The cat layed on my bed for the last time and I was so sad.
Then the day of leaving- today. Got up, got ready packed the last stuff and then I left the house. I won’t see all that stuff for a while. It’s upsetting. But I didn’t cry- yet- But after we entered the airport got to the checkin, realized that my suitcase has overweight and put some stuff in my carryon I had to say goodbye to my hostmum. At first everybody was just standing there awkwardly. Then she began to speak to thank ME and I was  like what the heck I just came here. And then the tears just kept running down my face. I don’t wanna leave. But the thought that exchange isn’t worth all THAT never came to my mind. It is worth it. Then I hugged my hostmum, gave her the promise to stay in touch and come back after graduation, she cried, I cried, my mum cried but we didn’t leave until they said we should go to the security check.  I couldn’t turn around anymore. Now I had to leave. After a little bit we could already board the airplane and when I got ot he airplane my hostmum was still standing in the building waving. I waved back and looked at her as long as I could.When I got into my airplane seat I started crying. I didn’t want to stop crying, I didn’t want to leave Grand Island, I didn’t want to leave all the people here. And I don’t wanna go home, I don’t wanna speak German.
Meanwhile we already left Nebraska, who knows we’re probably somewhere in Kansas. I already miss everything. I love Nebraska. I don’t care if Nebraska is the most boring place ever, I love it. And I’ll miss it.

Exchange is over now, but My life won’t go back to normal yet. It will never be the same, being at home in Austria, it just changed everything. 

There will some posts following, since I'm still in the USA for a while. I'll write ya..  

1 week :O aka What a terrific day!

OK guys now it's seriously seriously SERIOUSLY scary. I mean today in a week it's my  last day in Grand Island! And this was the last weekend I'm all on my own here in Grand Island. Are you kidding me? It can#t be over yet, it's just is the best time I've ever had! And I have so much stuff to do until i leave! Seeing all my friends one last time, making the goodbye photo album for my hostfamily, packing my stupid stuff for going to New York AND I should figure out what we're gonna do in New York. Oh great  don't even wanna leave. When I say, that every day it's getting better and better, I'm not even kidding. I love love love  it and don't wanna let go. It's gonna be so sad. sad, sad ,sad sad sad. I'm already getting scared about leaving. I really hope that I get some distraction in Austria. I'm gonna play Tennis. At least SOMETHING!

Well but now I want to tell you about the GREAT average, normal,funny stuff I did today on my last Sunday on my own in Nebraska.
Well today was Fathers day. In case you didn't know ;). But it was actually pretty normal. We went to church at 11 o'clock. THis week was vacation bible church so a whole bunch of children sung. It was actually pretty cute. After church we went to Perkins, my favorite, american food restaurant since the first time I went there. I hope i can go there next week with my family too. One last time :)  Well then we went to hy-Vee ( a food store ) really quick and then home. Just really fast to change clothes because then we were going to St. Paul Nebraska. There where the river is :) Since today was a perfectly nice day i sat on the patio facing th river, listening to the river- noise and reading the newspaper. SOO peaceful!
a while after that somebody got the idea to walk halfway through the river to an island there. You could really walk there, the river is just not deep so that you can walk. I manged to trip because the sandy ground (JAAAAAAAAAAA it's sandy not stony like in Austria and sosososo warm like bathtub water ) was very bumpy. I hunted for polliwogs in the water with my little hostbrother it was so much fun walking through the mud with no shoes on, and he wind was messing up my hair.  i got my toenails done a few days ago (for the first time in my life) and they survived all that. After a while all the other people, who were just watching us on the island got onto the airboat and picked us up from the island, to go for a ride. i had to lay in the front, because there was no saet left but I was perfectly fine with that, laying there and getting tanned that's how it goes. And all my favorite people on the boat.It was amazing, Then we stopped and we went playing in the water for a while.Ahh i absolutely loved it and managed to get not too wet ( i was a little bit wet anyways because when I was laying in the front water kept splashing up) and then when I last ran to the boat to get in, I tripped on the last 3 meters and got wet all over. And full of sand. When we finally got back to the house I was laying on the floor of the patio, trying to get my clothes dry again. It was not too successful. I kinda got distracted when I had a chat with the australian guy living at in my family. It was so cool, and I can now understand his accent, I'm so proud of me. Australia (ns) is/are awesome. Then we ate hamburgers with mac and cheese and chips. And I still wasn't dry. But we went on a ride on the golfcart for a while with the dog sitting in the front on the seat. It was so fun, so nice and so FUNNY! During the cart- ride we saw a tree with some sort of berries I've never seen. They were good but i stepped on some and it made my feet go all blue. I ran the rest home because people were goofing around too much. We pretty much left then and now the rest of the evening is psent with playing checkers and watching TV.

And now at last a question for you guys: What is that when you already miss people, when you#re still around them? It's confusing. Now some music again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzxwOrT6Beo :)

Bye bye I think my next post will be pretty much the leaving one. Not a nice thought.

Things I miss

Ok guys this post will be about things i miss, except the obvious, family friends, pets,..... because although I love the US and I don't really wanna let go I'll be glad to have all this things, which are really weird sometimes and things i didn't really like that much before, but I still miss it. And now that the year is almost over for me, it doesn't matter if i write it down now, because when I get homesick now it's not to bad. Just to let you know I wasn't really homesick, since i'm here, which is kinda weird. Whatever.  Let's just start.

1. my mums cooking, also the things that weren't my favorite things.
2. Austrian dishes, definitely
3. My bed
4. my room in the 1st floor, where you can't hear anything but the birds
5. my PIANO! OMG SO BADLY! 
6. Austrian weather which is less hot and more rainy 
7. lakes, where ouy can swim in. here I see a lake and I'm like "Can you swim in them?" and everytime the answer is " No, what do you think!?" 
8. Well i kind of miss Austrian rivers too, because they're icecold in any time of the year and here they are already so warm! 
9. Just the freedom i have at home! 
10. having a big family party with all the relatives coming on every birthday
11. hedgehogs
12. Austrian birds, they sing more beautifully 
13. bread, fresh baked and warm 
14. just the different kinds of breads! 
15. berry bushes behind the house which are full of berries at this time, where you can just go and pick them and eat them
16. blue roadsigns
17. Austrian flowers
18. the not perfectly perfect yards
19. individually yards! here in a street every house looks the same 
20. different kinds of houses! 
21. tiled stoves 
22. going for a short walk in the neighborhood, just for fun
23. going hiking
24. doing sport with the family outside 
25. playing games with the family 
26. riding my bike to friends houses
27. Austrian farms with ANIMALS! 
28. Forests, I haven't been in a single forest here!
29. My class in Austria 
30. European newspaper 
31. Euros (dollars are so ugly) 
32. castles 
33. German TV (but  not the american series they  just translated they're dumb in German)
34. Austrian candy!! 
35. in comparison, little stores
36. going to a restaurant once in a while 
37. understanding everything people say!! 
38. understanding all the jokes without getting them explained
39. not every building is freezing cold in the summer 
40. water from the sink that doesn't taste kind of weird 
41. the water in hotels in the shower is NORMAL 
42. deodorants you can spray and not only the roll-on's
43. not needing 30 minutes from 1 town to the next one
44. public transportation 
45. trains! 
46. buses 
47. a really nice school website you can find stuff on 
48. the last school week is a project week 
49. school's practically over 2 weeks before it's really over  
50. Austrian Ice salons (although they're getting so expensive) 
51. Leberkäse 
52. people that are NOT afraid of germs  all the time 
53. milk, not fat reduced
54. Austrian yogurt
    
    So people that's pretty much it, not that i wouldn't like the things here like they are but it's just..... different. :) Well I suppose there will be a few posts soon when the time gets shorter and shorter..

That's it for today! Have a nice day! Oh ja  music i almost forgot ;) OMG that is so american and SO IN! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWAdb1vgoik&feature=related <------- 

D:

Ok guys now it seriously gets scary. I mean you know when I said 3 weeks to go?  Now it's only a little more than 2!! And i can remember as if it was yesterday, that I got to Munich to the airport, was super scared and sad to leave, had serious doubts about the whole thing a the airplane, got to see my hostfamily and my new home, finding everything super exciting, going to school the first day, finding new friends, getting used to the language, and thinking that 6 months is a pretty long time to stay here.
And now? Now Living with my hostfamily is the most normal  thing ever, i like them so much, have so much fun, having my return flights booked already, seeing my  family again in 2 weeks, all doubts are gone, I just enjoy being here, schools is done already, my friends left for vacation, the other exchange students already left here, English is the most normal language ever, German became weird, and I think that WHERE TE HELL DID THE LAST & MONTHS GO?! i seriously don't know. Time went by incredibly fast. Now I look at things in the house and think how I saw it for the first time and I realize  that a lot happened. I have tons of memories.
But not everything about leaving is bad. Today when somebody was cooking in the house, it smelled exactly like one dish my mum at home makes sometimes. It was never my favorite food, but here they don't have that. And I wanted to have it. So BAD!! I really miss my mums cooking. And Austrian food. Even the stuff I didn't really like that much. Maybe i should make a list of things i miss. In a different post people. I have enough time.
i really miss Austria I guess. I never thought that I thought Austria is the most boring country on earth. But people who travel there love it and i've heard so many people respond when they find out that I'm from Austria "OOOHHh I've been there! It's so pretty I love it!" And other people really want to go there. And then are the people who don't even know where it is :P Hm I think when my family come here it should be perfect I even miss my siblings, although I never thought THAT either. A few days ago they skyped with my best friends from America and they were so cute :') Oh well they are not that bad.
There are just so many things i learned and got clear about so many things. People say that americans are shallow, but SCREW IT I love it.
I'm seriously worried that when I'm back in Austria people I really liked are really dumb and worried about little things. Let's see how it goes guys. :) But it's not quite over yet people! So I will get back on explaining you the sweet american time I have left!
Well I did:

• visiting my first american Zoo in Omaha, it's kinda different and they have animals I've never seen + a HUGE scary turtle. (It was not one of the cute od-grandma faced ones it was scary. Like monster. I almost screamed. but I didn't take a picture it was dark.) hey I looked it up on google: it was abig huge one of this kind + it was dark!
  
  
  ggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. 
• Ok then I did visit a friend from EF. She's from Austria too. I went with her to the mall and then to a goodbye dinner with her and her friends. It was so nice! :) And today I went with her to see a movie. It was "What to expect when you#re expecting" adn we were to only ones in the movie theater. :D That is so cool, like a private cinema. You can talk and scream and laugh and nobody stops you. It was absolutely awesome. But that was our last meeting, she#s going home in 2 days. And so I'm pretty much the only foreigner left in grand Island. Well at least I'm special ;) 
• And today i watched a softball game from my hostsister and I actually understand the rules now. I'm so proud ;) They won. After that we went to eat Frozen yogurt at red Mango (remember that Yogurt place i tod you about earlier in Omaha? They have it here too now I'm soo happy. It opened  less than a week ago and I practically ate there every day. The day it opened twice ;) Goood life.
  K guys I'm coming to an end too. 

Well I'm also coming to an end now. I'm listening to old songs (and from last year) and they remind me about how excited I was. Sometimes it feels so wrong, to be here, while everybody else is living their normal lives. And maybe need somebody and I'm not there. But like the EF motto: "It's nor right, it's not wrong, it's just different" :)

And like every time. MUSIC! THis time it will be on older song. Nothing especially american. But actually it is kind of. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1VTcJfL7RE

Bye guys! See ya later!!

  

3 weeks guys. 3 weeks.....

Well people out there. His post will probably will be really short or stuff but just HAVE to write down what's going on. Today I realized something dramatic, when i was on facebook. I saw people who i know from my exchange, who were at my school. They're from Europe too, but are already back. And i was like ( in my head) "Man poor guys, they're already back in Europe. I'm so glad that I have on month left. But then I realized  that today is june 1st. And on JULY 1st I'm at home. I kept saying, "Oh I leave in one month" but actually that is so NOT true. In 3 weeks my family is coming, and In 3 weeks and 3 days I'm leaving Grand Island for a long long time. Leave the place I feel so at home right now. Where I have all those amazing american friends. Al those american stuff. American school, american home, memories, friendships, all that stuff. i will leave a whole LIFE behind! It feels weird. THis text I'm now putting in here EXACTLY expresses it :') :
‎"In a couple of weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears,we will say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left.
We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends.
We will go back to the places we came from, and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before.
We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.
As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become.
You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand.
Who will you call first?
What will you do your first weekend home with your friends?
Where are you going to work?
Who will be at the party Saturday night?
What has everyone been up to in the past few months?
Who from school will you keep in touch with?
How long before you actually start missing people barging in without calling or knocking?
Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you realize the hardest part of being an exchange student is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind.
We now know the meaning of true friendship.
We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year and who we hold dearest to our hearts.
We've left our worlds to deal with the real world.
We've had our hearts broken, we've fallen in love, we've helped our best friends overcome eating disorders, depression, stress, and death. We've lit candles at the grotto and we've stayed up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need.
There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families or friends needed us the most, and there are times when we know we have made a difference.
Just weeks from now we will leave.
Just weeks from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes.
No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random e-mails and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer, and hopefully years to come.
We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world.
Just weeks from now we will arrive.
Just weeks from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end.
We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year.
We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year.
In just weeks we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close.
And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two worlds.
In just weeks.
Are you ready?". ---> No I'm not what do you THINK!? 

By Ulfar Viktor Bjornsson




I love you AMERICA :')


Well guys and i want to add that this won't be the last post about leaving probably. I don't wanna leave but I'm also excited for my family to get here. This feeling sucks. But just read the text people. Just read it :) ......


And now some MUSIC again! 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rplmd1afK5U